Choices, control, chaos

I read a recent article that mentioned a recent survey of “hundreds” of women in the U.S. which asked “How do you define success in your life? What would give you a sense of satisfaction and peace?”

I was intrigued. I am now part of the “mommysphere,” but not so long ago I was a single professional woman on a career track as a litigator following in the path, and on the coattails, of a very well respected attorney. So I follow the discussion of “what women want” with some interest.

The women who participated in the survey were all employed, both married and single, kids and no kids. So, I thought, this is a pretty good cross-section of the “working woman” though severely lacking in representation of women who are not employed outside the home. I began to be less intrigued.

The article went on the say that the survey results were not surprising: “The things we most desire in our lives are the things that always seem to lie outside our grasp.” DUH! They needed a survey to figure that out? Isn’t that the state of being of all humans, when we dwell in the “unredeemed” parts of ourselves? Don’t we have a sense of dissatisfaction if we are focused on “me”?

Ok, back to the survey. Apparently this survey suggested that women value four principles which are the “keys to satisfaction and contentment”: time, balance, control, and purpose. Again, no surprise there. (They could have paid me the money they paid to organize the survey and I think I would have told them the same thing.)

But it got me thinking. We always want more time; time for play, time for reflection, time for sleep, time for God. We rarely, except when a deadline is looming, long for more time at work. But God gave us all 24 hours in each day; therefore He must believe that we can/should accomplish all we need to in that period of time. However, we jam-pack so many things into our day that we feel like we are never done.

The result of all that “jam-packing” is that we all yearn for “balance,” the second of the principles mentioned above. For women it is often balancing career and children (having them, mostly); for men, career and family (spending time with them). But the thought of “balance” has permeated throughout our world. Parents speak of trying to find the balance for their children between extra-curricular activities and down-time. And certainly we are advised to eat a balanced diet.

Of course, finding this balance requires that next value, control. Things in our world don’t balance on their own, they need our help to become that way. Or so we think. Control is also a ubiquitous “value.” Most of the time we feel better if we feel like we control some aspect of our lives. As Christians, we realize that we shouldn’t control anything, although we have choices. If we leave the controlling to God, and put ourselves in His hands, then we can move onto the next “value.”

Purpose. That is a heavy sounding word, isn’t it? Purpose. And in the greater Christian community in this country, the word purpose is tied to Rick Warren’s book. There is still importance in looking at the concept, apart from just his book. Because he was onto something. Our lives mean nothing if we have no purpose other than ourselves. Some people might think of purpose as meaning “having a goal.” Because I am not a goal-directed person, I like to think of purpose as a “deeper meaning.”

What is the deeper meaning of my life? I like the Westminster Shorter Catechism: “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” I am trying to spend time this Lenten season finding time and space in my life to worship and glorify God as part of my every day life. I suspect that I will have more time, balance, control (ish), and purpose if I do that.