The Search

Psalm 119:49-72; Psalm 49, [53]; Deuteronomy 9:13-21; Hebrews 3:12-19; John 2:23-3:15

The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken and contrite spirit; a broken and contrite heard, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17

Nouwen begins today's devotional with the above verse and ends it with a prayer recognizing that the eternal life God promises us has already begun. At first reading, it seemed that the thrust of the devotional, about man's search for his "long-lost" home with God, was tangential to both the scripture and the prayer.

As I thought about it, however, it occurred to me that I search for God's presence most often and most intensely when I am in a broken and contrite place. That is when I feel that I need Him most. And it is in those times of despair and questioning that I also most need reminding that the life He has promised me has already begun; that I can live in His presence continually, if I will but let Him have His way in my life.

And there is something that rings very true about the search for God being a search not only for home, but the home where we belong, even if we didn't know it at the time. This is a theme that has resonated throughout Christendom. Pascal has several Pensees which contemplate the fact that man knows he is wretched only, and precisely, because deep down he knows he is made for something more: "Who indeed would think himself unhappy not to be king except one who had been dispossessed?" Pensee 409 in the Project Gutenberg edition. And Augustine wrote, "Thou hast made us for thyself, and (therefore) our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." Confessions, Book I, Chapter I. And we have all heard about the "God-shaped void" within us, an emptiness that only He can fill, because it is made to be filled by Him (variously attributed to C.S.Lewis, Pascal AND Augustine.)

This Lenten season I am thinking more about the feeling of coming home and the comfort and safety that God provides. I am also more aware of the knowledge that I have (though often almost completely forgotten) that in God I am complete and that this journey of life is about being reminded of that completeness and recognizing it in new and different ways.

In what ways are you refining your search for God during this time of Lent?

At times in your life when you feel far from God, how do you begin to move yourself closer to Him (or even begin to want to move closer)?

Why is it that we often actively seek God only when we are having a personal crisis?